Today I wanna talk about a very important topic and that topic is how we go about understanding when somebody has a very different opinion than what we have. So I wanna talk about a few different subjects here or a few different parts. And part number one is this, when we are about to enter an argument or a debate, first and foremost, we need to ask ourself this question.
Number one is, could I be possibly wrong? You know, the person who was about to enter that debate ask yourself, could I be wrong about the thing I believe in. The answer is probably yes. If you think back throughout your entire lifetime, there are gonna be times where you passionately believed in the subject that turned out you were wrong about. So that’s important to ask yourself while you’re about to enter an argument. So, first of all, there are two different types of arguments. There is the kind of argument that’s worth arguing over, worth debating, let’s say if somebody comes in, they have an injury on their head. and you’re like, “You need to go to the hospital right now.” And they’re like, “No, I’m fine. I’m fine.” You probably wanna argue a little bit back and forth and convince them that yes, they probably need medical attention.
But then there’s the kind of arguments where it just doesn’t matter who’s right or who’s wrong. It doesn’t matter. Those are the type of arguments I’m talking about. Those are the type of debates I’m talking about. If you like to debate, that’s fine. You know, sometimes it can be fun. But at the end of the day, sometimes, these arguments, these debates, it can cause us to become frustrated. It can cause us to become tense. It could cause us to look at the person who we were arguing with, differently. It could cause friendships to break up. You know, we need to understand when we enter an argument could we be wrong about what we believe in, the answer is probably yes.
Everybody’s been wrong at certain points in their lives. And then we need to understand, of course, as we just talked about, is it worth it? Is this argument productive? Doesn’t matter who’s right or who’s wrong. That’s the key, doesn’t matter who’s right or who’s wrong. That’s something we need to ask ourselves. Because if you enter an argument and you win, our egos are gonna become inflated. We love that win because the ego wants to prove that we know something that the other person doesn’t know. And when that happens, the ego grows, then it wants another win, and then another win, and then another win. And that’s why it can be easy to wanna argue and debate more because the ego wants to win and know something and prove something that the other person doesn’t know.
If you wanna get into a place in your life where you can avoid these needless arguments, remember needless, that’s the only arguments I’m talking about. Some arguments are totally worth fighting over. Some arguments are totally worth debating. But I’m talking about needless, needless arguments. Because needless arguments can turn into that argument, can turn into that really nasty argument, that really nasty fight and bickering back and forth.
And it can cause so much frustration, so much anger. So a simple technique is not easy, there’s a difference between simple and easy. A simple technique is to allow that person to have the win. So what do I mean by that? If you’re about to enter a needless argument, tell them, say, “You know what, you’re probably right.” Because when you agree on withthem, even if you don’t mean it, when you agree with them, their ego, most likely is gonna deflate on some level, it’s gonna deflate in the sense that they’re probably not gonna wanna argue with you anymore, because you just agreed with them. Who’s gonna wanna argue with you, when you just agreed with them. But their ego is probably gonna inflate in the sense that they’re satisfied because they got that win. They proved that they knew something that you didn’t, or that they were right about something and you were wrong about something. So my point is that when you agree with them, the argument is probably not going to go as far as what it could have gone. And you’re probably gonna be less tense, less frustrated, and they’re not gonna argue back.
It’s gonna be difficult at first to say you’re probably right when you vehemently believe that you’re right. It’s gonna be difficult at first, but a few really cool, magical things are gonna happen. And the first thing is that you’re gonna realize that that argument is kind of gonna deflate very very quickly because they’re not gonna argue back with you when you just agreed with them. And second of all, the better you get at it, you’re gonna notice, you’re going to avoid so many needless arguments, so many needless bickering back and forth, and so many needless just fighting back and forth. It’s one of those things, once you start to get really good at it, it’s so liberating, because the people who would normally argue with you, are probably not gonna argue with you as much because they know, that you’re not gonna argue back unless it’s a really important topic, then that’s different. But if it’s a needless argument and they just wanna argue, they know I’m not gonna pick this argument with this person because they’re just gonna agree with me anyway. And that’s a good thing.
You know, you’re going to avoid those needless arguments. So it’s simple, but it’s not easy. It’s a simple technique, but it’s not easy. It takes time, it takes practice. But you can rid yourself of so much unneeded frustration by simply allowing them to have the win, whether or not you believe what they believe. Just tell them, yeah, you’re probably right. And then when they’re about to get in another argument with you, they’re gonna know, that you’re probably just gonna agree with them and they’re gonna think this is not worth it, and then you’re going to avoid that needless frustration.